* "What a stupid gift!"
* "Who do we know that we don't like?" "We can re-give this fruitcake to them as a gift!"
* "Yum, Yumm, yummy, we love fruitcake!"
* "I'd like to get a certificate proving I disposed of the FruitCake forever and my cake is not being gifted to anyone ever again!"
Testamonials by people using our service:
Liz P. of Johnserp, Wash. said; Bob's Fruitcake Recycling helped me dispose of the gift that kept coming back to me like a boomerang! My friends would get one from me at Christmas and re-send it the following time they needed a quick gift. They would re-wrap it with B'day paper and give it back to me. I knew it was mine because I put an X on the bottom of the package and when I got it back, I turned it over and saw the X that I placed there! So I read Bob's WEB site and shipped it to him and he buried it for me. I chose the "budget" burial service for $25. with prompt service too! I'm satisfied with the certificate that states that this matter was buried! LOL to you Bob!
Indus M. from SD, Georgia said; Receiving the fruitcake was an un-planned event. She also said; I love fruitcake! But, we weren't ready for her. I still had a career and a Master's program ahead, plus, we didn't have the extra space to house a fruitcake! My husband (the chemist) wanted a boy cake and took off the pretty red ribbon that it was wrapped with and put a cowboy hat on her and a set of western holsters with guns! That is for a boy cake I shouted! I knew this wasn't going to work for us and she was bringing stress to our marriage. We called Bob to find her a home where she would be treated like a little girl. I was heartbroken when Bob found a couple that had a big home and wanted a "she" fruitcake. Bob could I visit her once in a while? PS. We got an "almost boy" dog!
Tim g of the Rockies said; mr bob help'd us get'rid a un wan'ted fruitcake. we wood Get them suck'rz and take um in thm thar hills and use thm for shoot'n practice wit db ble 00 shot. My pops wood get'ty up thar wit' us. Weed a blas't em' into little bit'z and laugh as the litle thng-zz would fall. We not ice'd them a bleed'n and smell'n nice like a fruit or something and we was'a feline bad? We reel'eyezed we was a'bea'n nasty. Aff tar wee seen thm jus'a ly'n thar wee re-pen-ted after the slau'tr and we up'n cent them pee'zes two mr b and he cream ate d thm 4 us. We ask'dd mr b to say we r a sorri for what we a did. Tanks GOD 4 givn'us mr b.
Auntie "M" and Unk "Wiz" of Shonsburp, OH. said; We always wanted a sister Fruitcake of our own. We never received one or found one in need. After we e-mailed Bob we proved that we were good kids and home alone. We were smart and loving and could afford to take care of a little fruitcake. Bob helped place her in our home. Our mom said it was OK and she would be home in another week. "Wiz" as he is called, is known for his smart skills. Wiz is teaching our little fruitcake; how to sign in on his computer so she can see pictures of lost fruitcakes. Thanks Bob and we will dress her warm for the cold weather. She came with a cute red ribbon too!
Chris A. of Sprinkgrove,Ark. said; I spend most of my time at work and have driven home tired and in a hurry with many things to do! This one afternoon, I'm driving tired and right in front of me was a limping 12oz. fruitcake. I swerved to avoid hitting it and SPLAT! I told the Police I tried to avoid the little fruitcake and ended up hitting it and the electric pole. The Police said it was not my fault because the streets were dry but a teeny tiny patch wasn't. They said that the fruitcake was walking alone, frozen and white like snow, and it couldn't be seen! So not to worry! Now the electric pole is a different story because it was big and brown and when it fell on the Vette it fried it and darkened the town for two hours! The little fruitcake though was mangled and had a half life and smashed. The Rescuebaker Squad said that emergency surgery and repair would cost about, $28,000! Though I couldn't afford it, I was expected to foot-the-bill! Well, it must have been fate since the fruitcake arrived at the Bakers; DOA. Bob's site was up for research, re-cycling and funerals. To my surprise, Bob's service only cost me $25.plus $5 postage to his center. It saved me $27,970.00 Thanks Bob and can I call you dad from now on? You are Sooo Cool and you were like a father to me in my time of despair! Also, I'm going to donate some money to the Mexico Missions!
Faith E. of Lincoshire,Mo. said; I spend most of my time at work so after supper I like to relax. I like a cup of decaf rum tea, a sliver of fruitcake, along with a chocolate kiss. I was watching the news relaxing and Bob was on the news saying that there were fruitcakes that would dedicate themselves to Science, I e-mailed him and I said I would do free research on all of the fruitcakes that he could send me. I told him I'm doing survival research on the protein, fat and sugars in fruitcakes. I told him I would count the nuts, kinds of nuts, sort out the plastic looking fruits and identify the colors, rum and foreign contents with my taste buds and send him the results. Now since I met Bob, he sends me fruitcakes everyday! With my new job, I can stay at home and taste test fruitcakes. Bob, I lost 10lbs on the fruitcake diet too!
(note: These results are not to be expected and may cause other problems related to rum fruitcakes and fibs and nuts and half truth fruits and in no way is proper and it is embellished with the finest of ingredients and may be Yummy and lead to weight gain or choking!)
He and his family decided his idea deserved some consideration and he should help people who are desperate for closure.
Bob along with his staff, dedicated land for a final resting place for these unfortunate fruitcakes.
Bob personally LOVES fruitcake and doesn't know why others don't have a home for them!
So, we decided to embellish everything we say with cakehumor to make them feel at home and palatable for everyone that may love them.
We also claim that there is no way to find truth in everything or anything we represent and we are not responsible for anything real or imaginary and hold no grudge against the fruitcakes or anyone involved.
Forgiveness and peace is golden at our final interment place.
And that is because we care!
Trust in disposal, reposel or adoption, is better than Rust. Fruitcakes do not usually rust so trust is better! (If an autopsy is performed steel will be removed so rust will not develop)
